Leading by Values and Example, with Marie-Louise Murville | A Ripple Talk

Welcome. I'm Sabine Hutchison. I'm founder of the Ripple Network. And before you hear this talk today, I want to take a moment to tell you what it took to get here today. So the Ripple Network is a dedicated practice space. It's created for women, women professionals who want to speak with more confidence, with more clarity, and more of themselves. And speaking is never just about speaking, it's how you show up.

In every room, in every conversation, and at every moment, when what you say and how you say it lands. It's a place to come through into your own, to create your own natural style of communication and to build confidence through doing it. So week after week with women who are doing exactly the same thing. Over 12 weeks, the women of the cohort moved through three phases of the work.

And the first month was about understanding how they naturally show up, about recording regularly, about receiving feedback, and noticing their own patterns and their own presence. The second month moved into storytelling, longer form speaking, narrative, clarity, and beginning to shape the core idea of the Ripple Network talk. The third month was about delivery.

It's about assembling, refining, practicing, and finally standing in front of their cohort and all five program partners to deliver the talk that they'd been building. So speaking practice asks something. It asks something real of you. And these women gave it. They showed up every single week for each other and for themselves. And that is where the growth really happened for them. So what you're about to hear is the result of that.

One ripple can change the tide, and today's conversation is about exactly that. So welcome, and I'm so glad you're here today.

Hello, I'm Marie-Lousie Murville and I have two questions for you. Are you a robot? Is everything you say, feel, or do 100% predictable and controllable? If you answered yes, this talk does not apply to you. Do you want to abandon your free will and ability to reason? If you answered no,

This talk absolutely applies to you. Because leading by values and example is the most human thing you can do. And that's exactly what I want to talk to you about right now.

The biggest light bulb moment for me after graduating from MIT with two engineering degrees was how complicated and unpredictable humans are. The engineering seemed easy compared to managing and motivating people. And then I realized these skills were essential for getting promoted.

Why will robots never be leaders? Would you follow a robot into battle? Of course not. A robot has no soul, no heart, no power to reason. It cannot show love, grace, or mercy, valor or sacrifice, genuine appreciation.

Robots don't follow the golden rule. They follow code. Leadership is something else entirely.

My mother was a Marine in World War II. She volunteered to go anywhere, do anything, to fight for what was right. When I asked her what life lessons she had for me, five lessons have stayed with me.

Do your best. See the best in others. Believe the best is yet to come. Smile. Lead by example.

She lived the Marine Corps values every day honor, courage, and commitment.

Everything I'm about to share is built on that foundation.

Over the past 30 years, as president, COO, venture capitalist, and consultant, I've built, turned around, and advised tech companies across health IT, B2B e-commerce, and biotech. And I've seen the same pattern over and over again. The technology changes, the fundamentals do not. To turn strategy into execution,

You need people, process and plan. And the order matters. People always come first.

In real estate, it's location, location, location. In business, it's management, management, management. The most important person in any organization is the leader, because the leader sets the tone for everything else. Let me show you what that looks like in practice. I was hired as CEO to turn around a struggling health IT company. Day one

The entire management team resigned. On the spot, no notice. Convinced someone from MIT with no industry experience couldn't possibly run their company. People problem day one. Then I discovered the core technical infrastructure was completely broken. Hospital clients expecting overnight turnaround.

They weren't getting files back for more than a week. Process problem, day one. And my strategic plan was already under pressure.

You might imagine that I was scared, but actually I was relieved because I didn't have to fire them. And hey, I went to MIT. I knew I'd figure it out. I stabilized the infrastructure, then replaced it entirely with the internet. This was 1996, and it was a game changer. I assessed the remaining team, placed people where they could excel.

And paid them at or above market rate with benefits. And I communicated a clear vision and provided weekly updates. One year later, every customer was a reference account. And the team that walked out on day one, they asked for their jobs back.

Here's what I want you to take home tonight. Whether you're a lab technician, an engineer, or a CEO, you are already leading by example. You just don't realize it yet.

What do you want others to emulate?

You may have the title of a leader, but your team can't read your mind. They don't know what you value, what you're worried about, or what the real plan is, unless you tell them you have to say it out loud. My mother led by example every day, but my brother's only criticism was that she never said it out loud. In business, you have to make the invisible

Visible every single day. Talk about your plans, communicate your goals, your board's expectations, your milestones. Write things down. Ask for feedback. Clearly define each team member's roles and responsibilities. Then hold them accountable. You will stumble, acknowledge it. Learn. Look in the mirror before you blame others.

Ask yourself, what was my role in the setback? What can I do better today than I did yesterday?

Let me leave you with one more moment that ties it all together.

There was a time when I was worried about making payroll and considering refinancing my house. Because missing payroll was not an option. I walked into the bank and the manager came out to greet me. He asked what I was working on. I told him about our team, our plan, and our milestones. He invested $25,000 on the spot. He'd never met me before, didn't even ask to read the prospectus.

That's what people, process and plan, executed with discipline, communicated with conviction, can do. And leading by example means paying yourself last, always.

Making the invisible visible is about the vision, the plan, and each person's role in it. It's not about sharing your burdens in public. Your team needs to know you will take care of them. I knew I would find a way to make payroll. That's also leadership by example. Quiet, steady, and strong.

Would a robot make payroll? Highly unlikely. They have no personal network, no resources to draw upon, and no sacrifices they are willing to make.

Remember, you are not a robot. You have free will, judgment, and the ability to inspire others. So go out there and you show them what true leadership looks like.

So, Marie-Louise, thank you so much. That was a fabulous talk. And I think I pick something up new every time I hear it through the having listened to you practice this over the last month or so. So thanks for sharing that. And I'm curious. So this has been, yeah, quite a shift. It's been a three-month process, and I'm interested to hear: has there been something that has shifted for you?

And not necessarily just about how you speak, but how you even think about your own story.

yeah, absolutely. Things have shifted.

I've known forever, like when I when I was eight years old I wanted to be president of the United States. And then, you know, I realized public speaking was involved and it's not like

Public speaking's hard. I learned that the hard way. and so I knew that I had it had to get good at it because I had all these things I wanted to share. But it was like, I need more experience, I need you know, to accomplish more, I need more of something. And then at some point it was like and with the Ribble Network was like, I have plenty of experience, I have plenty to say, I can totally do this. I just

need just that little bit of extra coaching, encouragement to take it to the next level, which the Ripple Network provided. And so I'm very grateful.

Yeah. how did you find the the regular practising?

I I mean that was just it's so essential 'cause I've also, you know, like taken a lot of tennis lessons and singing lessons and it's just like

Yeah, yep.

you have to have the coaching, but you have to practice. Unless you get out on the tennis court, you're not gonna get better. So

You're never gonna be able to play. Yeah.

That is so true. That's a very good analogy. I use that as well. If you'd want to get better at a sport, you take time and you practice. And you're right, you can hear it, or you can listen to the theory and the the coach can say swing or hold it this way, but until you do it and do it regularly, yeah, the the benefits don't necessarily show up. So you're right, speaking is exactly the same way.

And what about discovering something about yourself? Is there anything that that even you know, other than the speaking that you've learned about yourself through this process?

Well

I guess 15 years ago the the phrase I I want to lead, inspire, and teach came into my consciousness. And so I've been and it's still there. And I I mean I have spent a lot of time leading, inspiring, and teaching over the past thirty years, but I just am really, really passionate about that. And what do I want to

know lead by values. I want to lead by values and example and I want to say that out loud. I want to tell a story about leading by values and example. I mean I have lots of stories. I love telling stories, but I keep coming back to this leading by values and example. And it's yeah, it's in the it's in the book I just wrote. and the Ripple Network gave me an opportunity to put that into a speech.

That's less than 10 minutes long, which is huge. To like take

Yeah, wow.

all of, you know, 30 years or my whole life into 10 minutes of something that I'm passionate about. And also about,

Yeah, that's

you know, and leading by value is an example. It's about getting back to the fundamentals, the fundamental principles that don't change. You know, technology's constantly changing, you know, with artificial intelligence

Absolutely.

and robots, and that changes all the time, but the principles don't.

So I also wanted to connect those two things together, the technology versus the fundamental principles. So

Right.

this was an opportunity to do that.

Yeah, those principles are so important. And you've bridged like the next question beautifully. Thank you. because I'm curious for people that are going to listen to this talk, what do you hope is going to really sit with them? And if you think about a ripple that you would like to start from this talk or that you hope your talk starts, what would that be?

To in this chaotic world

Mm-hmm.

There are fundamental principles that ex exist beyond the technology that's constantly changing and the chaos that's around us. And that the only thing we can actually control is our thoughts and our ourselves. We can't control anybody else, but we can lead by example. Every one of us is leading by example, and we we each one of us can lead by values and example.

And so we just need to do that. And you know, the alternative is just not acceptable.

Yeah, you're so right. Imagine what the world would be if everyone led by their values and and that then obviously had a ripple on others and inspired others. So that's what I believe your talk is going to do. And thank you for sharing it, for also being vulnerable, sharing a bit about yourself. I love the piece about your mother bringing that into it. What a great way to to bring her legacy.

Into your talk. I think that's fabulous. So thank you so much. And thank you so much. You were so persistent, and you you stayed with the program and you showed up every week and continued to work and improve and was so receptive to feedback. And that made this journey so special, I think, for all of us, all the partners and all the people that are in the group, but also impacted you showing up today. So thank you for that.

You're so welcome. Thank you for the opportunity and thank you for being so incredibly wise and kind and exactly what

Ooh.

I needed.

Yay. Well we met at the right time. So thank you again for today.