The Ripple Effect: The Partners in Conversation & Connection

Well, hello ladies.

And look at them.

What a crew we have here. Look at this and from lots of different locations. We've got Netherlands, the US, across the globe. So this is our very first combined partner call for the Ripple Network. So so very exciting. So people have seen you all individually and heard some of your stories. And now we thought it would be fun to get together and just have a chat. So people can actually get to

That too, yes.

the globe.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (00:13.834)
Thank

you

a sense of us as a group as well, because I think it is important because they are putting a lot of trust, right, coming into this network and working with us. So let's talk a bit about our experiences. Let's just roll right in. Let's air it out. Yeah, you know, because it's interesting because I was thinking I was thinking about myself and if somebody asks me

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (00:49.45)
Air out the laundry, huh?

Thanks

Are you ready?

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (00:56.746)
Okay.

why am I doing this? Like what's all the amazing experience you have in speaking? I really don't. And that's okay too. I'm also in this process of learning and growing in my speaking. Emma, the first time we worked, the talk that we worked on is really one of the first things that I've worked on in a broader scale. Obviously I give presentations, but I have a lot to learn too.

But I think the idea behind this is, and that all of us don't have to be the perfect speakers, but it's the idea to give somewhat others the opportunity to learn to do it. And we've got great ideas on how we can support people in finding that path. So I think that that's one of the most important things. It was a bit of an aha for me when I was thinking about this and people were asking me, so why are you doing this? You must have lots of stage experience. Yeah, do, but is it all perfect? No. Do I still use cards? Yes.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (01:56.362)
you

What is perfect?

Yeah, what is Perfect. So, go ahead Emma.

Yeah, true.

It does use it when it comes to speaking, it really doesn't. Perfection. It's a myth.

No, no it isn't. Yeah, because I have my fa- Yeah, so true.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (02:11.592)
And it's not relatable, right?

And it's also how you define it, I think. Like what is speaking? Because you say, like you do a lot of presentations, but speaking on stage is a total different thing. However, speaking in conversations is something you do all day and that has to be impactful sometimes too. yeah.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (02:15.442)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, true.

Yeah. Yeah.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (02:29.876)
Yeah.

My goodness, I wish I knew this 20 years ago when I stood on stage the first time. Didn't have to be perfect. Okay, keep telling myself.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (02:36.488)
you

Yeah. I think that that's it. The perfection piece is we have this idea of perfection and Mary, your things about, you know, using the using the optimal words, like what is perfection? It's nothing. What is perfection?

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (02:41.874)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Ugh.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (02:56.847)
Yeah, yeah, it's just a story we're telling about the situation. So the story can be changed. Yeah.

Yeah, it's one of the things that we really, one of the things I have to work really hard on with my clients when we're working at speaking is I will always, and Sabine, you will know this, but the question I always ask people is, what did you do well? So they'll speak, even in practice scenarios, what did you do well? And right at the beginning of coaching, I would say nine out of 10 women will go, oh, I didn't do this and I forgot to do that and I didn't pause, I went too fast and did that and they'll tell me,

Thank you.

Hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Amen.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (03:35.955)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

literally a laundry list of the things that they did wrong. And I let them talk and I let them talk and I say, okay, I'm just going to ask the question again. What did you do well? it's like they just they didn't hear the well bit back our brains. Our brains are designed to look for problems. They're designed to look for, you know, ways of keeping us alive so our genetic material can continue. And so when it comes to keeping something we've done every day of our lives since we were what, a year, two years old?

Yeah.

Negative.

But.

We've never really thought about it in positive terms. We tend to think about it in negative terms. I didn't do this. I didn't do that. I didn't do that. So I think that's a big thing that people have to kind of wrap their heads around. It's like, oh, I'm actually doing some good stuff already.

Yeah. True. And yeah, perfection also doesn't exist, of course, but on the flip side, perfection is your being yourself. Just being comfortable in your space and taking that space and being authentic. For me, that is helping overcome a lot of that as well. As long as you feel,

Yeah.

Thank

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (04:31.778)
Mm-hmm.

I didn't do everything perfect, but I was me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also usually you have to take into account that the audience that you have, they don't know what you were going to talk about. So they don't know what you said wrong or if what you said was that you were intended to say it. but in your mind, you're like, no, I wanted to say this and then I didn't. And then everyone will know. But they won't know because they don't know your script.

Yeah.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (04:44.886)
Yeah.

Mm hmm. Yeah. That is so true. I think Emma, you said that to me once too. They're like, you said you mentioned that they're not going to know if you've left this word or this word out or this sentence or you said this before this section. How are they going to know that? That is such a good point.

So, yeah.

up.

Yeah, there's a really, and I can't remember who said it, but there's a very famous quote about this. Every time you give a speech, there's three versions. There's the one that's on the paper, there's the one that's in your head, and there's the one that we actually deliver. All different.

They're all different, yeah.

Yeah.

That's so interesting because I'm prepping for next week too and I'm looking up for ways on how I can really embed the talk. And I have a typed version I printed out. Then I decided I was going to write it also. So each section I'm writing it and repeating it and trying to remember it. And then I'm like, wait a minute, this is even different than what I have here. Which way do I want to say it? And then I had, again, this a bit of a ha, was like, it doesn't matter.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (05:55.124)
Thank you.

No.

It just doesn't matter if I switch a few words around, it has to come, yeah, from me and no one is going to know if I use one word or the other. think that is such an important like hurdle to get over and to get relaxed with.

I find sometimes having people to kind of come back to the intention. What's the intention of this conversation? And not a talk. I always try to say conversation. What's the intention of this conversation? You know, and if it's to inspire one person to make a change, to do something differently, to feel better about themselves, to let go of some baggage, whatever the talk is about. If you do that for one person, you've achieved your intention. And it doesn't matter whether you said and or but,

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (06:43.242)
Mm-hmm.

or you changed a sentence around, you left a whole paragraph out. It doesn't matter because you've achieved your intention. So zooming out have a bigger picture, you really help. It's so easy to get stuck in the minutia.

That's a good point.

Yeah, and those imperfections that may come up, they make you relatable as well. Human.

True.

Yeah, Sabine, you were asking about a speaking experience and, Gina, I'm going to pick up on what you said there. I was speaking at an event in Amsterdam and it was meant to be 50 people. And I went into the room and I kind of opened the door and peeked in and I was like, huh, that's a lot more than 50 chairs in that room was kind like 200 chairs. There was an enormous stage and the biggest projection screen I have ever seen.

Okay.

Go ahead.

You

I was like, okay. And they said, oh, we've got to get back 200 people coming. Like, okay, like one moment, just mental refrain. And it was great. And so the stage was about 30 meters wide. And I did the speech twice, one each day. And the second day I was really enjoying, I was really getting into it. And I...

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (07:49.322)
You

Thank

The first day I thought, I'm going to step off the stage tomorrow. I can feel I'm going to do that. And at middle way through the speech, getting really excited about this thing, I stepped off the stage. It was only about two feet high. I literally stepped off the to this kind of like funny little hopping thing. I didn't fall over. Yeah. then hopped back up onto the stage and I was laughing because I just thought, what a rabbit, you know, to actually step

Did you fall?

I to do that.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (08:24.022)
Yeah.

You

I'm

And the audience are like, And I cannot tell you, I mean, people come up and talk to me after speeches quite regularly. The number of people that came up after that speech went, my God, that was amazing. He fell off the stage and then just kept going.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (08:35.37)
you

And I was like, well, what else was I going to do? But it also, it really crystallized for me two things. One is how far I'd come in my speaking journey. And I didn't bother me that I'd done this thing. I thought it doesn't affect my expertise. I still know everything I know about speaking, even though I just stepped on the stage. And the second thing was how you are as a speaker tells your audience how to behave towards you.

Yeah.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (08:57.091)
You

Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

I'd fallen off that stage and gone bright pink and like flustered and apologized. They would have treated me like I'd done something wrong. But because I behaved in a way it was like, it's no big deal. They behave like it's no big deal. So I think that's such a, that for me, that was a real turning point in my, in my speaking journey. I'd be curious to hear you guys, what was your take on it?

So true, yeah.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (09:31.081)
Mm-hmm.

Shoot.

It's.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (09:48.49)
Hmm. So I had, so tht I had the opposite So I had, so tht I had the oppositehappen when I looked out at the audience and there were barely any people sitting there in this huge space. And I'm like, what happened? You know, tickets weren't sold or whatever. And this is way back. Gosh, in my very beginning career, as an executive director of a nonprofit and it was a big fundraiser and

No.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (10:18.026)
the seating was probably about 2000 people and there probably was like 500. So you can see the spaces. And so as a speaker, can we, I don't know, relate that, oh dear, there's a, like all the stories start about, oh no, like, oh, like you're thinking about what happened? Like, why weren't we on top of this, right? There's a whole kind of thing behind you going, are these?

Well.

Yeah.

You

no, yeah.

you

Ha ha.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (10:47.626)
where the tickets were sold, but people aren't showing up or whatever anyway. So I remember going out on stage because I was actually introducing a big musical name, David Crosby, if people know that. I remember looking out and going, well, these are the people that really wanted to be here. And I'm just going to deliver as if there were 2000 people here.

yeah.

yeah.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (11:17.898)
So I felt all the, and that was still with me, but I actually decided that like, you know what? I'm just gonna use that energy. Cause it could be nervousness, right? We could call it that, but what if it's excitement? It's a different frame. It's likely same sensations in a lot of us. And I just said what I needed to say. you know, it was such a long time ago, but I remember the guy, one of the tech

huh.

Hmm. Yeah.

Yeah, cool.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (11:45.576)
guys who was making sure the mics were, he was still kind of off. And he's like, like when I was turned off the stage and the musical performance started, he's like, wow, great job. And so then I, was that, that I was, you know, I was in my twenties at that point, that feeling of like, I can do this no matter who shows up. Right. It's just give the people that have shown up a hundred percent.

Wow.

Yeah. So true. I love that. I remember I gave a presentation. It was a pitch like way back in the day. I think right when I restarted Seuss, like it's probably 14, yeah, 13 years ago.

Hmm.

It was in Washington. And I literally thought I tried the superwoman pose in the bathroom. I tried breathing. Well, none of it worked. I walked. I was like in the bathroom. It's got to work. It's got to calm me down. Well, it didn't. I saw it on the internet. It has to work. Well, it didn't.

you

I can see it.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (12:45.45)
Right. I saw it on the internet. It's got to work.

And so I went into the room and I was literally shaking. I was physically, like I was cold. I was shaking so much. I had to lock my knees so I wouldn't tip over. And I did it. And then I listened to it afterwards after they posted it online. And I was like, oh, Sven, let's watch this. And he looked at me too. He's like, How many times did you say um? I was like, I think.

my god.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (13:21.96)
Thank

you

10,000 times. And then you also, well, I did, I was like, Oh my God, people are going to see this and they're going to go, what horrible. She can't say anything but um, and she's shaking. And it's also just letting go of that. Even if it's not, you know, if, you feel that it's not up to par or it's not your best, know, you doing, doing the best that you can, it's also okay. It's a step.

you

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (13:53.425)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

And I don't say 10,000 times now. So that's a journey in itself. And I've learned to pause and think and pull. there's so many great things to learn along the way, but that's been like 13 years. And I think it's incredible how much practice just has to go into it. And you keep going and you keep trying different things.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (13:58.218)
You

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (14:12.869)
you

Yeah.

And excited to learn more things. know, Emma, we've talked also about inclination also in your voice and mastering that and how to breathe differently. And there's just so much to do and to have fun with it and to get better and more comfortable. So I think that that's a really fun part of all of this too.

Yeah. And that practicing it, it doesn't have to be in front of a crowd. It can be in front of your mirror. It can be a recording on your phone that you watch back and, listen to your own voice. it's a horrible feeling. But it can be as simple as that. The key is just to try and to get started.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (14:40.977)
Mm-hmm, that's what we.

in.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (14:54.45)
laughs

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yes, I always say to people speaking is an act of doing, not thinking, because you creating speech or presentation, even a team update, it's like it's what we write down on the paper or what we put on the PowerPoint. We think that's the speech and we never think about the doing bit of it, the actual delivering piece. And so that's where that's where we get better when we when we literally do it. And like you say, Gina, film yourself

Yeah.

and

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (15:23.738)
Yep.

watch it back as much as that is because that's probably the most powerful piece of data, piece of information that you're going to get that's going to help you improve. Just like you would if you're playing tennis, you know, if you're learning how to play tennis, your coach might, I don't play tennis, but it might, you know, but they're going to maybe film you hitting the ball so you can see what that looks like. And you don't sit there thinking, I'm a terrible person.

Thank

If I did.

You

If you see that you don't connect with the ball brilliantly, but we do tend to think because we're such an intimate relationship with our own voices, so much more personal when we watch it back on video. But honestly, it's the best piece of feedback. You'll watch it alongside someone else who can kind of point out what's really working brilliantly and what could be improved.

Yeah.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (16:12.362)
Yep.

Yeah.

Yeah, indeed. Yeah, and it's also the trust in yourself that you can do it. Because I have not, I haven't a lot of experience in presenting on stage. However, I do speak in front of groups and also get asked to do so. Like, out of the blue, could you say something because, you know, what you say is very valuable. then it's without preparation because you get asked on the spot.

you

And.

And then actually you can deliver it. You can do it if you just have a moment to, at least for me, it's always important to think, how do I do it? How do I structure it? And usually that works out better than you have your script laid out because then you are focused on that piece. That is what I want to deliver. However, if you do it in the moment and you think back on what you saw from this person, for instance, or, you

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (16:57.163)
.

Mm-hmm.

whatever the topic is that you want to talk about. I think that helps too. And trust is such a big part. Trust in yourself and trust that it's going to be okay. Your life doesn't...

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And you've done that a lot lately too, especially you think about how many things that you do also with the HBA, the recordings, like you've got all kinds of stuff out in the world that you've done.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (17:35.422)
Yep.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. True. Yeah. Yeah.

You

How is it when you watch yourself again, when you watch those posts?

In the beginning it was uncomfortable and especially the voice what Gina said. It's the voice that you're like, do I really sound like that? Yeah.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (17:59.117)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

in.

Do I really? I asked my son that this week. Do I sound like that?

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (18:03.85)
That's so interesting. That's so interesting. A lot of women say that. I remember being very tiny, well tiny, like seven years old, under the, like my sister was recording a dinner conversation underneath the table, because of a big table. And I was, I remember not saying a word because at that young age, I didn't like the sound of my voice. And that up until now has really been an observation.

Hmm.

Thank you.

yeah, yeah.

Wow.

I'm ready to get something.

No.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (18:33.308)
Yeah, so.

At seven, that's the point where for women, girls, women, our sense of identity really changes and our voice really changes. So if you listen to children in a playground up to the age of about seven, it's really hard to tell the differences between the boys and girls in terms of sentence structure, tone of voice, who's in charge, who's a subordinate, all that kind of stuff, you can't really tell. And at seven, the girls suddenly become conscious of themselves and they start to change their language and they start to change.

Mmm.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (18:52.861)
Mm-hmm.

Hello.

So yeah, but the reason we don't like listening to the sounds of our voice is because we hear ourselves differently. So when you speak, hearing yourself through air conduction, so into your ears through the air, but you're also hearing yourself through bone conduction. So when you speak, the vibration's set up across the mask of your face and your jaw. And so it creates this deeper resonance. So when we listen to ourselves back, we haven't got that. All we've got is the air conduction.

Mmm.

That's why it sounds so completely different. That, yeah, when it's recorded, yeah, that's interesting. Yeah, so that's it. That's what others hear.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (19:29.802)
Thank you.

But then what does our voice really sound like?

Really.

Hey.

No way.

Yeah, that's right. It's just we have a kind of we have an extra depth when we hear ourselves inside.

I my recorded voice versus what I hear for myself. no.

You know what's really interesting is that I actually, that's one thing that I like. I like my recorded voice. I think that that's one of my strengths is my voice. Yeah. And that's why it's fun to work on it and to accept when I get nervous. And then I start talking really fast. So I'm really working on this, power of the pause, breathe, what I've learned from actually most of you here on this call.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (19:53.002)
Hahaha!

Do

But you have an awesome life.

no!

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (20:13.151)
Yeah.

Not me. Slow down, Gina. Not me.

Breathe and slow, slow down. Yeah. Yeah. And also interesting because when I slow down, think, I sound like I'm talking like a robot, but that's not true at all. So also I think that that's super interesting. When we slow down, we feel that it's much slower than what the others are hearing. you, cause you're the, you're the, you've done a lot of study on this, the voice. Is that, is that the case?

Yes.

Mm.

Yeah, yeah, we have, you know what you're going to say, you know the topic usually, but your audience are hearing it for the first time. So they're processing it and it takes a lot longer for them to process than it does for us to say it. So the more complex it is, the more emotionally weighty it is, the more abstract it is, the slower we need to go. So not necessarily slow down the rate of speech, but the pauses need to be bigger.

Bye.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (21:17.354)
Mm-hmm.

need to process. Otherwise what happens is I'm saying a sentence and I don't pause and now I'm carrying on the second sentence and you're still processing the first sentence and now I'm on the third sentence and the fourth sentence is lost. So it's the rate of speech generally I very rarely, rarely, coach anybody who actually genuinely has too fast a rate of speech. But I coach thousands of people who don't pause. So when you pause, your audience absorbs, you can think, you can breathe.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (21:25.418)
you

Hmm.

Mmm.

Most importantly so you've got air for the next sentence and it's otherwise what you could you get to the end of the sentence you're just like you've only got a breath of

That's a good thing.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, and your audience will do it for you.

Okay, give me a second.

So if you're starting to have breath halfway through a speech or you find by the end of the speech you feel like you've run up a hill, it's probably because you're not pausing and breathing deeply enough throughout the speech itself.

Mm.

I had that in the first time on stage. I definitely had that. I actually, don't know if my like near panting was from that or from being so terrified. But the shaking, I felt it everywhere. And my mouth was dry. I have never in my life experienced the same experience that I had that first time. And that's a hard one to shake. I think a lot of people, a lot of women also feel that too. If you have a negative, well, not negative, a little bit slightly traumatic experience your first time standing in front of.

Thank

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (22:27.783)
you

300 people ever. It's hard to shake that feeling almost forever. There's something that sort of comes back and it comes back and it comes back. It might be really, really dull, but it still comes back in a way. There's always a, yeah, that one time.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm, that's true. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's that reptilian brain that this oldest bit of our brain, it still doesn't understand that speaking is not a threat to our lives. So, you know, when you stand up, as far as it's concerned, you're separating yourself from the herd, which means when the T-Rex comes around the corner in a minute, which it will, as far as it's concerned, you're done, right? And usually you're facing the wrong way, audience is looking this way, so your brain is

Yes.

You

Yeah, you'll be effected.

Hey.

Yep.

That's why it goes on red alert. It's like, sit down, which is why you get a dry mouth. It's getting you ready to run away. It's why you've got shakes, because you've got masses of adrenaline cortisol in your system, because it's getting you ready to run away. So that response that you have is just biological, and it's trying to keep you alive. But it can be really quite profound. But Mary was completely right earlier that the chemicals that we

Thanks.

in

Mm-hmm.

let go in our system, those are the hormones that go out when we're about to speak, are the same ones we feel when we're excited. It's that we attach a different story. I'm not prepared, I haven't learnt it, they're gonna hate me!

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, reframe it.

Oh, true. Yeah. That's right. Yeah. Instead of I'm nervous, I'm excited. Actually, just yeah, you're right. It's about reframing it. Yeah.

Yeah.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (24:19.463)
excited.

I'm excited, I can't wait for this.

Yeah, those reframes are so...

Awesome.

Reframing, I love that. That is actually then an excellent time to say, think, goodbye for now. Reframing, let's leave everyone with that. So think that's a beautiful last thought with so many things that we do to reframe. So instead of nervousness, let's think about excitement.

Excitement here. Good one.

and Embrace it.

And embrace it. Yeah. And you're right. Yeah. And use it. I think that that's such an important thing, Mary, but you've done in some of the sessions where Susan has been on as well, is about using that. It's not getting rid of it. It's using it. And how do you use it in a way that's going to be beneficial to you? So the key is not to lose it. The key is how to use it. Ooh, that's a nice little...

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (24:52.842)
Yeah, use it.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (25:14.736)
use it and find And how later in our next episode.

what a beautiful snippet.

Yeah.

And find out how next time. There you go. ladies, what a treat. What a treat.

Yeah.

Yes, next episode. Yes. Love it.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (25:30.922)
I'm so excited to work with all of you. So I just want to say thank you to Sabine and everyone here. Yeah, this is going be great.

It is going to be great. So many wonderful things to happen. So 2025, it's going to be incredible. I'm looking forward to it. Yeah, I'm looking forward to learning from all of you as well. yeah. So it's Friday evening, I think for most of us except for Mary. And we're all about to go off and have our, and start our weekend. So wishing you a wonderful weekend and thanks for spending some time with us here.

Yeah.

excited.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (25:44.01)
Watch out. Likewise. Yes.

Bring it on.

It is.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (25:55.902)
Yeah.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (26:06.196)
Great. Thanks, everyone.

Thank you. Thank you all. Thanks. Bye.

Thank you.

Thanks. Bye.

Thanks.

Mary Morrison, MBA, MAc. (26:10.59)
Bye.