More Than Ever Now, with Ibiere Addey | A Ripple Talk

Hi, welcome everyone. I'm Sabine Hutchison and the founder of the Ripple Network. Before you hear this talk, I want to take a moment to tell you what it took to get here today. The Ripple Network is a dedicated practice space and it's created for women professionals who want to speak with more confidence, with more clarity, and just more of themselves. And speaking is never just speaking, it's how you show up. It's in every room, in

Every conversation and every moment when you want to say and how it sticks with people. So a place to come into your own, to create your own natural communication style and to build confidence through doing it. So week after week with women who are doing exactly the same thing. So over 12 weeks, the women of Cohort One moved through three phases of work. The first month was about understanding how they naturally show up.

Recording regularly, receiving feedback and noticing their own patterns and presence. And the second month moved into storytelling, longer form speaking, narrative, clarity, and beginning to shape the core idea of the Ripple Talk. And the third month was about delivery. It's about assembling, refining, practicing, and finally standing in front of a cohort and sharing their talk that they've been building. So speaking practice asks something real of you.

And these women truly gave it. They showed up every single week for each other and for themselves. And and that is where the growth really happened. So what you're about to hear is the result of that work. And always remember that one ripple can definitely change the tide. And this conversation today is exactly about that. So welcome, Ivy. I'm very pleased to have you and really looking

Thank

forward to your talk.

Thank you very much.

I wish I had seen the signs DOE, but it seemed that none of us did. This was the word of a colleague of mine who had just lost his 14 years old son a few months ago. Hi everyone, I'm Ibiere Addey and today I want to talk about More Than Ever Now. I'd like to present five cases before I actually talk about

this initiative called More Than Ever Now.

I've talked about my friend who's just lost his 14 years old. For me or my child, it was racism and bullying. And then my child became a shadow of himself. His education started going down the drain. He became more introvert, slightly aggressive and depressive in tone. And over a short period of time, my son

Koo was always excited, would love to cook and do different things. Now became a depressive and almost suicidal person.

so I've talked about two cases, so another person, another child that had so much potential but no mentor. Their parents were always busy, notchalant, and their guide-in couldn't really pay much attention because there was no direct connection. So this particular potential child would so much offer to the world.

turned to two different types of friends. Their normal friends from peer pressure and their digital friends. Digital friends like AI, social media, negative media, and as I mentioned, their friends with a peer pressure. And from all the information that they collected from those different angles, they were able to form what they thought could be the narrative of their life.

And then there was the teenager who had an aspiration of the entertainment world. Both they were told that they were a plus size and needed to come from to the right size in the entertainment world. As a result of this information, this person became bulimic. They started taking drugs to make themselves slim down or injections to keep them at a particular size. The insecurity

increased so much that it's finally led to mental instability, illness and you name it.

Now I've told you about four cases that are actually real scenarios that have actually happened around. Now I want to tell you about a film that I watched last year. The film started beautifully. It was called Adolescent, based on a 13-years-old boy called James Miller. There was a murder in the school. A girl of similar age had been murdered. Now the film wasn't created to figure out

who murdered this girl, or if this boy, Jamie Miller, actually murdered this girl. The film wasn't asking who did it. It was asking the question, what happens to a child before the world finally notices that he's lost? You see, Jamie was from a loving family, regular home. He goes to school, he comes back, he has all the chats and all the family time with his family.

But when Jamie goes into his room behind closed doors, social media humiliation, emotional isolation, and the dangerous space that adults often don't see happens to him.

For me, adolescent reminds me that children do not always fall through the crack overnight. They are slowly taught to hide their pain until it turns into ham. You know, when you're cooking or you're baking.

You don't just put the bread and the ingredients together for the bread and then it becomes a bread. There is a process that happens before it finally, you know, takes all that when you put all the right ingredients and then the bread, you know, is left to, you know, swell or, you know, the yeast is left to take effect on the bread and then it forms the shape before you put it in the oven and then it goes through the baking period and it finally becomes a bread. Now, if you've put different things in that mixture for your bread, then obviously you get a different

I've read what you don't expect, but if you put the right ingredients, then you get the right thing. Why am I using this analogy? This is how it is with humans, with children. As I said, it doesn't happen overnight. It's a gradual process of the different things that the child is being fed, and that gives the end result eventually. And this is the story for Jamie. He was going through various things.

until he finally cracked and actually led to the murder of a girl he always admired but had been humiliated through social media.

So these were the cases I wanted to bring just to get you thinking, to just pause a little bit, reflect on the five cases. Has that happened around you? Has that happened to you or someone you know? Because before I want to talk about my initiative, I really want us to really have that picture in our mind to see what impact is really happening today.

And when you have this picture in your mind, I would like to ask some questions as well. Questions that we need to ask ourselves and perhaps answer if we do have the answers. The first question. What do we want as a legacy for the rising generation? Notice I said rising generation, not next generation because we want them to develop.

We don't want to just say something static next generation and people are moving in. They are rising, they're developing. So what legacy do we want to leave for them? What button are we passing on to this rising generation? Like in the Olympics and the race, you pass on the button or you pass on the touch to the next Olympics schedule. So what are we passing to the rising generation? The next question is,

How are we handling the responsibility given to us? For me, I'm a Christian, so by God or whatever you believe or even if not in a religious way, by your parents, how are we handling the responsibility given to us? You brought a child into this world, how are you handling raising that child? Or you're a guidance or you're an adult responsible, not necessarily a guidance. How are you handling that responsibility?

And my last question, which I always ask myself, is my business, What the Mist Window? With all the different initiatives that I'm doing, know, traveling on business trips, you know, having meetings and rest.

Is that busyness worth what's me missing the window of making an impact in the rising generation or in my children's life? Am I that too, am I that busy that I can't find time to listen or to pause and just be observant? Is it worth it?

With all those questions in my mind.

I'm saying I need to change the narrative. With all that I've seen, with what I've experienced, I'm saying I need to change the narrative. And I'm asking you as well, do you want to change the narrative? And that's why I came up with the topic, the topic or the initiative, more than ever now. More than ever now.

is an initiative that I'm driving and calling for action to people to see. It is time for us to be intentional about parenting, about mentoring, about raising the next, the rising generation. It is time for us to be intentional about pausing from that busyness and looking around and making sure that you know life matters and making sure that we are making an impact.

It is time for us to be intentional about knowing what is our children, what are our children watching? What are they reading? What are they eating? Yes, it's as much as what are they eating as well? Who are they talking to? What are they writing down in their private moments? What are they being called? What are they watching on social media? So.

More Than Evan now is a call to everyone. It's a call to me. It's a call to you. It's a call to everyone around me. Thank you.

I'll leave you with this thought anyway. We cannot wait until the youth loses their identity or become dangerous before we ask who is shaping them. The real crime begins long before the arrest in silence, shame, loneliness, algorithm influence, and the failure to teach emotional literacy. Thank you again.

Ibiere thank you. That was very thought provoking, which is exactly what you wanted to do. And so impressive that you're starting this initiative and that you're taking the step to make change and to create ripples. So thank you for doing that.

Thank you

And thanks for sharing the talk. And this is something that you've been working on in phases, you know, as I described in the beginning, you were part of the the first cohort within the Ripple Network and the 12 week program. And I'm curious what what shifted for you in this process and the way that you that you step into speaking.

What shifted for me is the fact that when you just start talking and you're not connected to it as there's no real life connectivity, then it's almost like you're putting so much effort. And one thing I liked about joining the Ripple network is the fact that there was that realness that's...

Awareness that when you're coming to do a talk or when you're coming to present or anything like that Bring some connectivity to it something that connects you to the story because then you're able to just Talk without struggling without heavy thinking and then you're also able to prepare because it's something that is real to you You know, something you've already experienced so you're able to put the preparation properly and have a stat a middle and an end So that's

Yeah, that's right.

that's fantastic. And had you thought about this topic for a while? Was it was it difficult for you to find the the theme that you wanted to talk about?

Yeah, I had a few that I wanted to talk about, but I think...

For me, with this one, it resonated so much. think the trigger point came when I had my friend's story on LinkedIn. And then I could connect it also to my story, even though I'm very thankful to God that my son is still alive, but then I could connect it to my story. And then with all the learning that I'd taken from Ripple, I was able to put the story together. And now that when I talk to people about the story or the initiative, I'm able to present it well because I've learned

presentation skill and I'm also able to bring the connectivity together as well.

that's fantastic. And that's exactly what it's about. It's about taking this this idea and working on it within a construction. So we had we had our we had our our group and and the weekly challenges and things, but now taking that out and when it's fantastic that you're able to take that into a storytelling and really engage with people because the way that you do it is is very emotional and very which which is with a topic like this, which is key.

to try to get more people involved and aware of this. So yeah, really well done. So can totally understand this sense of yeah, belonging and connecting with the topic is is key.

Thank you.

Yeah. What are there any other areas that you say and I think one if I if I may, one thing that we talked about was also pausing and slowing down. And I if I remember correctly, that was something

Thank

that also surprised you.

Yeah.

About the way that you

speak.

Yeah, so coming from the UK, we're always in a hurry when we're talking and...

Yeah.

Yes, it's almost as if someone is chasing us or a dog is chasing us when we're talking. I'm very, very grateful for being in the repulsed out because one thing we learned was talking and pausing and using our hands a little bit for illustration, not too many illustrations with our hands or gestures, but learning how to use our different bodies or hands, I would say, for gestures.

videos on different topics. And so the feedbacks we got for, I love the fact that, know, each videos that we did, you know, there were feedback, everyone, you took the time, you know, took the time to look through the video and take each path and give us a proper feedback. And that really helped me because I'm still practicing those feedback. I'm not there yet, but I'm still using them to practice every day. I'm looking at the camera more. I'm using my hand less because all

I had it everywhere. I really loved using my hand. But now I'm more conscious because I think that was one of the comments you gave me is make sure that when you're gesturing, it matters so that there is an impact. But when you have so much gesture, then you lose the impact. So there is a time to bring it in and actually gesture. So yeah, there was a lot of learning and I want to say thank you. Really good work.

Fantastic. And I love

hearing that you're able to incor you're still incorporating because what you've said is key, the practice, right? Constantly.

Peace.

I'm learning every day still. even though I've created this platform, I still do things. I'm like, there I did it again. But this awareness, I think, is so key, and you can catch yourself when you're talking and your hands start flying. I just knocked over a cup of coffee.

Like two days ago on a call because I was

Okay.

wildly gesturing. And it was for me again a reminder. It's like Sabine, be conscious about what you're doing with your hands. So they're constant reminders and constant practice. So watch coffee

Yeah. Thank you.

cups when you're if you use your hands a lot around.

Definitely, definitely make sure you have a clean desk.

And and back to your talk. So there

We're we're gonna we're gonna send this out into the world. And that is the original idea with the Ripple Network because there's so many fantastic stories that are there that don't necessarily have the opportunity to spread in the yeah, in in kind of the ether and in the world. And someone listening to your talk, what do you hope and that resonates with them if you had to pick one thing that really resonated?

And what kind of ripple do you want to start with this?

what do I hope that resonates with them? I think, first of all, the title, when I say more than ever now, I want them to wonder what is more than ever now? And then that should pull them into

pull them back into the stories, the use cases that I brought, the scenarios that I brought. So when they think about the title, then they should come back into the urgency, you know, for us to be more intentional wherever we find ourselves around the rising generation.

ripple that you hope that that goes forward?

The ripple. Since, you know, I've learned a lot of things in presentation and everything, I think I want the ripple for them to realize that I'm not rushing to say something to them. It's not about, I want to get this message out. I want them to realize that there was intentionality in every step I took with the conversation that I was bringing to the table. So that's the ripple I own, you know, being, you know.

them recognizing the intentionality, you know, the pause, giving them time to think and reflect about it. That's a learning I've taken. So it's not just about delivering the message. I wanted them to also feel the pause and take that pause and also play back in their life. So that would be the report for me, that intentional pausing to taking a message and ponder on it before moving to the next message or block.

That's a really good one. especially as you said, you know, sometimes we feel like we move so quickly and we feel that someone's chasing us. You're right. We feel that

Exactly.

we have to get every everything has to move so so quickly. And there is an incredible power in the pause. So I love that.

There

is, there is, there is. It makes you think, you know, it makes you prepare, almost like preparing for the next word you're going to say. You know, you're not in a hurry to believe that word. You want to be intentional about what you say next because it has to matter. You know, that's the intention. It matters, you know, and

You're right. Yes.

people are able to gravitate to it.

Yeah, yeah, that's so true. And we're only able to process so quickly as well. So you're giving you

Exactly.

you're giving the individuals a chance to to take it in and and

Yeah.

to really sit with it. And and that's that's a gift, isn't it? To to give someone

It is.

that that space and that time. So thank you for the gift that you've given us in this talk. I loved

Thank you.

it. And it was such a pleasure having you in the cohort. We all learn from each other and

It was a a treat to have you here.

Thank you very much as well. And thank you for starting the Ripple Network as well. It's really, really needed.